Tuesday, November 30, 2004

I Know I Should Be...

Its my birthday, its my birthday, I'm gonna party like....

Bah, whatever.

Another whatever day.


Where's My Hephaistion?

In my womb I carried my avenger! -Olympias

I could almost hear our community shout this out in unison. Yes Oliver Stone, in your intellectual womb, you carried this project for us. I couldn't express how grand this movie experience was for me. I take back what I said or thought before I saw the film.

This film is a masterpiece ,contrary to what other people say.

You could probably pin bias on me because the film depicted homosexual encounters (in huge servings at that!) but for me, the movie is admirable due to what it was able to encompass.

A whole lifetime retold masterfully. Without prejudice, without the need to hold back.

Although, I might complain about the obvious snip job done by the censors to remove the "sensibility-wracking" lip lock between the 2 male characters in the movie. Well apparently it shielded the more "mentally narrow" people in the audience although it did agitate them in their comfortable little shells. I remember feeling a slight sense of irritation when I heard these two middle age women sitting behind me going "Ayan kaya sya minalas kasi bakla sya." I pictured my hand flying out and connecting with the fat side of her face in a thunderous slap. Luckily my pity of her lack of intelligence qoutient points prevailed. Did she even have an iota of an idea that in the time when Alexander lived, having a deep level of intimacy, love, between two men are just as commonplace as breathing? I was still left wanting though. Oh well, I would just have to wait for the DVD instead.

How I'd love to say Hephaistion, my Hephaistion, come take me away...If only only I have one

Saturday, November 27, 2004

3 Days And Counting

First of all, I'm proud to unveil, ladies and gentleguys, the fruit of the loom, the nilaga of the tiyaga, THE blog.

http://advent2020.blogspot.com now on version 1.

I guess, you don't really have to be a rocket scientist to learn everything you are not programmed to learn. I can say I'm quite proud of my work. Now everyone, place your little pointing finger on the mouse click, go to favorites, add this site and enjoy. (or for blogspot people, linkify away!) See you around.

Now for more pressing matters, 3 days and counting and its the day. The day I'm acquiring another growth ring. The day I'm shedding of old skin. The day I'm getting nearer the bucket. THE day.

Twenty and two years ago, a boy was born on this Earth. A boy from the future. Everyday is past tense. Even tomorrow. He'd seen it before. He'd seen and lived it. He was given a second chance to go back and do it all over again. That's why every day, every single hour, every minuscle second he lives it like its a whole lifetime. And thats what they don't get about him. He gives them eternity in a single second, yet they turn and look away.

I worship Time.

If You Have To Know Me

Posts of Distinction:

The music of Delirium Act 1 - My Myth

April 2005

Seeing Through One Eye - Meeting Fidel

American Idol Addiction - AI Got Me

The Boracay Series
I'm Back And I'm Black - A Week Later...
Independence Day p.1 - Beam Me Up, Daddy
Independence Day p.2 - Flying Without Tethers
Green Corner Of The Azure Skies - Me Among Them
Music Of Delirium Pt.1 - Boracay, In Mythology Form
Music Of Delirium Pt.1 - Boracay, In Mythology Form

Can You Hear It? - Saying Farewell To Smog-Filled Manila

Shake It For Me - Dreaming Of Shakira Before The Beach, Crazed Thoughts

Beach Bum For A Week - Boracay, Here I Come!

Cooking + Me = Can Be - Cooking As A Hobby

The Tale Of The Dog With Three Names - Alas, A Dog In Our Household

Before Heaven's Gates - My Take On The Pope

March 2005

Angels Eat Squidballs Too - The Second Advent Arrived

Tamara Struck Me Down - Tamara Lempicka, An Artist, My Artist

Oh What A Night! - Brotherly Love

Arts Decoratifs - Art Deco, My Fave Art Form

Post Event Memos - Malate Night Out

The Smallest Things - A Cry Baby

The Showdown Must Go On - Menagerie

Scary, Scary Night -The Dream

Fortunate Events - Mon, Paulo, Me, Embassy at the Fort...

Hello, Im Advent and I'm A Videogame-aholic - But damn proud of it.

Bloggy's 3rd Month - I know, I celebrate everything.

Japanese Movies - Battle Royale - You havent seen anything yet.

Unleashing the Inner Becky part tres - Chartreuse? Anyone?

Creating Aggie's Wedding Website - Check it out.

Angels or Devils - Which side are you on?

Taxi Drivers From Speeding Hell - Kaya mo ba to?

Ever tried Ostrich? -Go ahead, it won't kill you.

Women of the Moment - Joan Rivers and Halle Berry

I'm Having My Own Sex Scandal - Bare and get mileage points.

Meeting the President of the Philippines part2 - This deserves a 2 part entry.
Meeting the President of the Philippines part1 - Meeting her in person.

Earlier Posts:
Open Space First post ever!

Visiting The Alma - Every once in a while, its good to go back to the past.

Had To Get This Off My Chest part 1 of 2 -Dramaton .

Had To Get This Off My Chest part 2 of 2 - Dramaton conclusion.

My Birthday - What else? The most important day of the year.

One Heck of an Expensive Night - A night to remember.

180 Degrees, Splook Me Up - Unleash the Becky within.

God Just Gave Me... - Maybe...

Why Can't I Just Be Able To Leap Buildings in A Single Bound? - Discovering the mighty in me.

Let the CamWhoring Commence! - See me!

Prostituee P'appareil-photo #2 - Camwhore to the maximum.

Drive-by's and Churros con Chocolate - A budding relationship?

Starting The Year Right - Predictions courtesy of Yours Truly

The Mystery of the P20 And Meeting HIS Friends - OMG, this is it.

Moral Support At People Support - One day, he applied at my company....

Meeting Mon - Mon, my Mon. Why do I crush thee?

Unleash the Inner Faggot Redux - Paulo and Me.

A Day Can Hold So Many Surprises - The day that was..
Part 1 - Desperate Housewives
Part 2 - Hue And Rasa, Food Trip
Part 3 - Nievera - Austin Concert
Part 4 - When Babies Go To Heaven. Rest His Soul.
From Start To Finish - Outro

Friday, November 26, 2004

Visiting The Alma

I dropped by my college this morning out of a whim. Well actually its more of the Registrar office constantly bugging me at home to pick up my Diploma and transcript of records. It turned out that they had misspelled my mailing address so the mail got returned. Luckily, Arthur was on his way to Instituto Cervantes, where he is taking up advanced courses in Spanish. Well, its along the way anyway so I decided to tag along. We rode one of those bulky blue busses that take you directly to the doorstep of that Green and White School along Taft. Hay, the bus route alone, zigzagging thru the old streets of Manila made reminiscing the days past a breeze.

As soon as I've touched down, my mouth fell agape at how surreal everything is. It was the same old glorious white marble buildings, however the surroundings had spiffened up by a whole mile. Now, there are those high-tech color monitors you'd usually see in sports arenas to tell the time, the events, and show video snippets. The already beefed up facade, which I'd never thought could get any whiter, was redone immaculately so. Most conspicuous of all, there was a ton of new hang out places situated outside the campus. Heck, even the crowd is different now. Under my breath, I heard myself mutter, "them lucky bastards".

I met up with one of my gay friends. Oh, he'll kill me if I don't rephrase this, so might as well do it now, my "straight-acting" gay friend, Gil. Its been a while since we last saw each other. In high school he was one of those characters whose really bulky, almost buffed, yet blatantly screaming as chartreuse. I was almost shocked when I saw him, well, actually he saw me and he had to call me because I didn't recognize him and kept on walking. He's still buffed, yet as straight as a metric ruler. Just in appearance, of course.

He toured me around the campus. And 80% of what I remembered had already been replaced. Aristocrat is now MIA but in its place a fully airconditioned restaurant. When I graduated the Yuchengco building had already been finished, but the walkway, or what used to be the Cobblestone Walk [edit, Pebble Walk] was still under works. Now, the place is fantastic. Such a wide open space to lounge, walk, study, and be seen.

We headed out to Agno, the retreat house within the school. That too had changed. What used to be the Aquarium is now another open walkway with the ubiquitous peach colored pebbles usually found in palatial homes. Theres also the EGI Towers where the ground floor serves as a mall of sorts. They have these really good restaurants.

So much has changed, yet its still comforting to see most of the beloved places are still intact. We headed out to the College Canteen. The place still remains untouched its just that they call it by such (IMO) a stupid monicker: the Z squared. The halls are still the same, with special mention of course of the CBE building being the most beautifully preserved (yup, I'm biased). The Library, although modernized, still has that cozy comfort, the smell of the books and the silence. The Amphiteater now looks amazing, with the new landscaping and all. Outside, McDo is still the same, still where the jocks and the cheerleaders hang out to see and be seen. Its a bit sad but U.M. is struggling to fight off the newer, better malls near the school.

Gil and I talked about the good days and the bad days of yore. He even mentioned a funny thought, the gay community, after such a long slumber is finally inching its way up in the limelight. Well that should be good news since the first thing I uttered when I saw him is that this school is WAY too straight.

Overall, this was a welcome trip down memory lane.

Seeing Double

Pardon me if you will be reading this post twice. I'm pulling out my hair just to resolve this coding thing.

O techno gods, look down on this tech-mortal. Spare me an ounce of your fount of knowledge. Save me from redundant posts.

Hindi Natatapos

Kaninang hapon ako ay nakahiga sa aking kama habang
nakatitig sa mga hugis ng ulap sa ilalim ng asul na kalangitan.
Ang bintana ng aking kwarto ay nakaharap sa kanluran,
himlayan ng dakilang araw.

Habang naaaninag ang mga mapaglarong hugis ng mga mala-bulak na anyo,
isang dasal ang tumakas mula sa aking mga labi.
Pasasalamat at pagpuri, ngunit higit sa lahat
pakikipag usap.

Pakikipag usap sa Diyos na hinulma ng aking sariling karanasan.
Diyos na hindi kailangang hagilapin sa mga batong bahay.
Diyos na hindi namimili ng mga deboto o humihingi ng tributo.
At higit sa lahat, Diyos na hindi nakaupo sa altar.

Tulad ng dati, ang dasal ay hindi natapos..
Bawat simula ng dasal ay pagpapatuloy ng pakikipag usap.

Just a sudden urge. Not every post in this blog would be in the second tongue.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Comment Help!

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

-But where is it? Arrgh. Got to dive in them codes again.

Walking Where They Should Not Thread

I was able to catch one episode of America's "greatest talkshow" this afternoon. I'm not really into this form of entertainment- no matter how good they are, no matter if the host's name is Oprah. But this episode was really rivetting. Topic on hand: Married Gay Men Coming Out. Now if that wouldn't hook you, nothing can.

Oprah blurted out one statistic that really made my ears ring. There are 2 million heterosexual couples in the States. And take note of this. In 1 million couples, one of the partner isn't straight. Cold hard fact. The camera man, purposedly, panned out to the audience. Comprising of mostly married women, their reactions ranged from bug-eyed, mouth agape saying "No Way!" to i-knew-that-all-along indifferent faces. Imagine, nearly 50% of the married population?

This topic bombed due to the coming out of one governor from New Jersey. James McGreevey is not a hero. That's the first thing we need to get straight -so goes a newspaper headline, pun and all. Just the first line alone screamed bias against him.

Well, all due props to Oprah for her inquisitive yet highly neutral nature. She made it assure that the man who came out, who faced the cameras, and braved the millions of viewers on that show just to tell them all, hey, I'm here, I'm queer, get over it, that his plight is all but human. She was able to squeeze out the entire drama out of it. Most importantly, she was able to bring out the truth.

But of course I'm not saying what they did was ever morally right. But who can tell what right or wrong? Case in point one of the gay guys on the show, really loved his blushing bride. He gave her everything a girl could ever want. They were filthy rich, they were the perfect couple, they had a very active sex life. But the girl, couldn't give him what he truly wants. The moral dilemma is he could have lived his life, make his wife, his family, his world happy yet be totally in denial. Or he could come out, and possibly, possibly, destroy everything, yet wallow in the bliss of freedom.

The consideration is no longer whose happiness comes first. What it all boils down to is the truth.

But where is love? At this point in time I can truly say that I've lived out my life to the fullest. I've come to accept who I am and my sexuality. Through this, the weight has been lifted. Life is beautiful, and it needs not be compromised with lies. I have chosen to love and love again. Does it really matter if its with people of the same sex? But my eternal conundrum is: Given that I've been living my life in all honesty, going for people who I feel I need, had the prospect of love forever turned its back on me?

Beauty, Truth and Love. Can one not exist with the other?

Advent Now

At last. After a minor struggle in deciphering esoteric HTML/java/css texts, I have emerged with this. Now let the world see what these hands are capable of.

Finally, a site wholly fashioned by me.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Of Work

And so the golden beams of the solar disk shine down upon my tired eyes once again. The beacon of light signaling the end of my worknight.

A darkwalker.
Imbibed with the ability to talk to the other half of the globe.

Off to slumber now.

Break of day. Time to sleep.

Getting to Know You

I was able to access my Friendster account again after a long, long time. Somehow, the novelty had worn out on me and I often ask "Do you really have to have an online proof that you HAVE friends?" However just for the heck of it, I tried peeking at it again after 3 weeks of inactivity. There were 10 friends to confirm, and 4 new messages. 1 was from a dear friend. However the other 3 were rather amusing. This wasn't the first but it still evokes a chuckle from me everytime.

"subject: advance
`ellow po.. dnt know when wld be your bday.. happy bday nlng po..."

-aww..I should have been touched because of the early greeting, my birthday is not for another 6 days, but the thing is...I have no idea who he is. AT ALL. It would have been ok if he was at least a friend of a friend. But...Oh well. At least people out there care.

"subject: tol
tol, i really want to be ur friend, i hope there wud be a chance to meet u in person... Ur gwapo, and nice, i could say, and worthy to be love [sic].... The bluff question is this ----- 'pude [sic] k bang maging bf ???' tke cre."

-shakes head. I never got the memo that relationships can be attained by online bluffing. Oh, wait, yeah maybe I have. [insert Karen Walker evil maniacal laugh here] Bah.

And the one that takes the cake:
"subject: For someone like me.
I know that you're dying to be a part of my online group. Consider yourself blessed. I only accept beautiful people. Add me."

-wow. hand me a puke bag.

So there we go. Lonely people, killer pick up lines. And I do not wash my hands for this voyeuristic tendency. Sometimes, when the moon is blue, and the wind bites me, I prowl the web. If only for the next delicacy.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Advent Still Under Construction

Ah...The joys of bleeding your eyes out to script your layout for the blog. This will do for now, not bad for an HTML/Java/css newbie.

Just wait til I get the hang of this. I'll be back with a vengeance.

but if there be kind souls who are masters of this craft, assistance would be greatly appreciated.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Open Space

You know how it feels like when you've just got enough leverage to move out of your parent's place and start making a life of your own? This this is it's virtual equivalent.

I've left behind an online community in another blog provider just because it felt that its time to move on. In all fairness, the 8 months I've put up my ramblings on that part of the online world was in a word...gratifying.

I've met a lot of characters. Cheerleaders, goths, fabulous gay men, beautiful women, eccentric (semi) geezers, artists. Heck, I've even met the "love of my life" (although, what a short life it was). All in all, it was a rollercoaster of strewn emotions. I was going out of control. I was losing my identity and I had to pull the plug before anything became too messy.

I chanced upon these shores and come to love it. I'm sure there'd be a slew of characters that I'll encounter (or maybe not) but as of right now, I'm just loving the emancipation of starting over. The smoke in the room has cleared. Now its my turn to clear my head.

So hello Blogspot. This is AdventChild, signing on.

harmless post # 1. Don't you worry, it gets weirder.